If this is muscle spasticity then thanks, but no thanks!

For a just over a week now I've been experiencing the sort of feeling you get just BEFORE a muscle cramps. The involved muscles have been tight according to both chiropractor and massage therapist, and I thought "okay, so this is spasticity, it's not so bad". Oh silly silly me!

It would seem that this was merely the precursor - and that the real deal is just now starting. And it HURTS!!!!!!!!

All my life (that I remember) I have had trouble in the muscles around my left shoulder. Whether it was while practicing piano as a child, or operating a desktop computer as an adult, I've had varying sensations from feeling as though the muscle is tearing itself apart to a numb spot on the skin around that area.

So I guess that it should come as no surprise that my first brush with muscle spasticity should hit that same spot. You always think with MS that people have trouble with their legs, and that certainly seems to have been borne out on the forums that I've been involved in. Phrases like "drop foot" etc being tossed around. And so I was ready for something like that, having had some weakness in my left leg already. But my TRAPEZIUS muscle?????? REALLY???? Who the hell invited that one to play the MS game? Color me unimpressed!

I did NOT sign up for that when . . . oh right, I didn't sign up for ANY of this. Not the numbness, not the fatigue, not the depression, and not this bloody muscle shite. Some sick, twisted being(?) decided that my great trial in life would be MS. Fab. Meatloaf's line "Life is a lemon and I want my money back" comes to mind right about now. (In fact I've seen another MS'er using it as their tag line on a forum.)

I guess life doesn't really suck all the time, but when you're walloped by a new symptom and slapped upside the head with yet another reminder that this disease has its iron-fisted grip firmly on you, it's a bit hard not to feel a tiny bit sorry for yourself. Especially as (for me it would seem) each new symptom onset is accompanied by bone crushing fatigue that makes you tired just breathing, and (my personal favorite) a big hit of the depression that makes you unbearable to live with and also makes you really question whether life's worth living.

I suppose there could be a positive here, if my trapezius decides it's going to tie itself in knots for a while, it may just suck my shoulder joint into the right place and I may possibly avoid the shoulder surgery that is doing the rounds of my family at the moment?! That'd work for me. Especially as the pain in the muscle has quietened down to a dull roar now, and hopefully won't peak again for a few hours. Just as long as it doesn't interfere with my job driving a dump truck (ha!). And I sure hope that all of this muscle energy spent spasming is burning plenty of calories while it's at it!?!?

Well that's all for today, now could somebody please lend me one of those kitchen mallets for tenderizing steak? I reckon that'll be just the ticket to beat this muscle of mine into submission.